江南竹丝调徽 - Atlanta168.com

江南竹丝调徽

再上一曲 -- 暮色江南竹丝暮色意醉，文笔字墨点松翠，石桥水波，虫鸣花语，江南竹丝调徽。朦朦烟雾绕，悠悠西月沉，晨曦东冉，旭映暮画思未尽。 **************************************** Check this
作者：时间：2009年06月12日 10:07 查看全文

游客 IP:68.223.55.* 发布于 2009-06-14 16:19 4 楼^#

<P><FONT color=#008000 size=2>青竹虽爱写，却真真愧对一个“才”字。我还在学习中。谢谢褒奖，但青竹实在不敢当。</FONT></P> <P><FONT color=#008000 size=2>谢布衣君不怪罪，如不嫌弃，以后我们相互指正，一起学习。</FONT></P> <P><FONT color=#008000 size=2>我改了几个字，但不知是否和你本来想要表达的意思。</FONT></P> <P><SPAN lang=ZH-CN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: green; FONT-FAMILY: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><SPAN lang=ZH-CN style="COLOR: lime; FONT-FAMILY: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><SPAN lang=ZH-CN style="COLOR: green; FONT-FAMILY: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><FONT color=#008000 size=2></FONT></SPAN></SPAN></SPAN> </P> <P><SPAN lang=ZH-CN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: green; FONT-FAMILY: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><SPAN lang=ZH-CN style="COLOR: lime; FONT-FAMILY: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><SPAN lang=ZH-CN style="COLOR: green; FONT-FAMILY: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><FONT color=#008000 size=2>暮色易醉，行笔走墨点松翠，</FONT></SPAN><SPAN style="COLOR: green"><BR></SPAN></SPAN></SPAN><SPAN lang=ZH-CN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: green; FONT-FAMILY: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><SPAN lang=ZH-CN style="COLOR: lime; FONT-FAMILY: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><FONT color=#008000><FONT size=2><SPAN lang=ZH-CN style="COLOR: green; FONT-FAMILY: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'">细语轻呵，石桥流水</SPAN><SPAN lang=ZH-CN style="COLOR: green"><FONT face="Times New Roman"> 。</FONT></SPAN></FONT></FONT><SPAN style="COLOR: green"><BR></SPAN></SPAN></SPAN><SPAN lang=ZH-CN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: green; FONT-FAMILY: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><SPAN lang=ZH-CN style="COLOR: lime; FONT-FAMILY: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><FONT color=#008000><FONT size=2><SPAN lang=ZH-CN style="COLOR: green; FONT-FAMILY: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'">江南丝竹调徽。</SPAN><FONT face="Times New Roman"><SPAN lang=ZH-CN style="COLOR: green"> </SPAN></FONT></FONT></FONT></SPAN></SPAN></P> <P><SPAN lang=ZH-CN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: green; FONT-FAMILY: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><SPAN lang=ZH-CN style="COLOR: lime; FONT-FAMILY: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><FONT color=#008000><FONT size=2><FONT face="Times New Roman"><SPAN lang=ZH-CN style="COLOR: green"></SPAN></FONT></FONT></FONT></SPAN></SPAN><SPAN lang=ZH-CN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: green; FONT-FAMILY: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><SPAN lang=ZH-CN style="COLOR: lime; FONT-FAMILY: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><FONT color=#008000><FONT size=2><SPAN>一丝薄雾绕，半弯<FONT color=#008000>斜月归</FONT></SPAN><FONT color=#008000><SPAN lang=ZH-CN style="COLOR: green; FONT-FAMILY: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'">，</SPAN></FONT></FONT></FONT></SPAN></SPAN></P> <P><SPAN lang=ZH-CN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: green; FONT-FAMILY: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><SPAN lang=ZH-CN style="COLOR: lime; FONT-FAMILY: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><FONT color=#008000><FONT size=2><FONT color=#008000><SPAN lang=ZH-CN style="COLOR: green; FONT-FAMILY: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></SPAN></FONT></FONT></FONT><FONT color=#008000><FONT size=2><SPAN lang=ZH-CN style="COLOR: green; FONT-FAMILY: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><FONT color=#008000>煮酒相陪，诗心伴着</FONT></SPAN><SPAN lang=ZH-CN style="COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: SimSun; LETTER-SPACING: 0.4pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial"><FONT color=#008000>旭日飞</FONT><STRONG><FONT color=#008000>。</FONT></STRONG></SPAN></FONT></FONT></SPAN></SPAN></P> <P><SPAN lang=ZH-CN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: green; FONT-FAMILY: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><SPAN lang=ZH-CN style="COLOR: lime; FONT-FAMILY: SimSun; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><FONT color=#008000><FONT size=2><SPAN lang=ZH-CN style="COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: SimSun; LETTER-SPACING: 0.4pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial"><STRONG><FONT color=#008000>--青竹</FONT></STRONG></SPAN></FONT></FONT></SPAN></SPAN></P>

游客 IP:98.251.84.* 发布于 2009-06-14 12:47 3 楼^#

<SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: SimSun; COLOR: green; FONT-SIZE: 14pt; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'" lang=ZH-CN><FONT size=4><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: SimSun; COLOR: lime; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'" lang=ZH-CN><FONT color=#339966 size=3><FONT color=#000000> </FONT> <P style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: SimSun; COLOR: green; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'" lang=ZH-CN><FONT color=#000000 size=4>暮色易醉，行笔走墨点松翠，</FONT></SPAN><SPAN style="COLOR: green"><BR></SPAN><FONT size=4><FONT color=#000000><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: SimSun; COLOR: green; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'" lang=ZH-CN><FONT color=#000000>石桥流水，鸟语清波，</FONT></SPAN><SPAN style="COLOR: green" lang=ZH-CN><FONT face="Times New Roman"> </FONT></SPAN></FONT></FONT><SPAN style="COLOR: green"><BR></SPAN><FONT size=4><FONT color=#000000><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: SimSun; COLOR: green; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'" lang=ZH-CN><FONT color=#000000>江南丝竹新调</FONT>。</SPAN><FONT face="Times New Roman"><SPAN style="COLOR: green" lang=ZH-CN> </SPAN><SPAN style="COLOR: green"><?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p></SPAN></FONT></FONT></FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=4><FONT color=#000000><FONT color=#000000><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: SimSun; COLOR: green; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'" lang=ZH-CN><FONT color=#000000>朦朦烟雾绕，幽幽</FONT></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: SimSun; COLOR: black; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'" lang=ZH-CN>斜月落</SPAN></FONT><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: SimSun; COLOR: green; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'" lang=ZH-CN>，</SPAN><SPAN style="COLOR: green"><o:p></o:p></SPAN></FONT></FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=4><FONT color=#000000><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: SimSun; COLOR: green; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'" lang=ZH-CN><FONT color=#000000>晨曦冉升</FONT>，</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: SimSun; COLOR: black; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'" lang=ZH-CN>朝</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: SimSun; LETTER-SPACING: 0.4pt; COLOR: black; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial" lang=ZH-CN>旭</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: SimSun; COLOR: black; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold" lang=ZH-CN>染画诗未尽。</SPAN></FONT></FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=4><FONT color=#000000><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: SimSun; COLOR: black; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold" lang=ZH-CN></SPAN></FONT></FONT> </P> <P style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=4><FONT color=#000000><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: SimSun; COLOR: black; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold" lang=ZH-CN></SPAN></FONT></FONT> </P> <P style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=4><FONT color=#000000><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: SimSun; COLOR: black; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold" lang=ZH-CN>修正一下 -- 布衣</SPAN></FONT></FONT></P></FONT></SPAN></FONT></SPAN>

游客 IP:98.251.84.* 发布于 2009-06-13 09:35 2 楼^#

<P><FONT size=4>谢青竹，有您，才女指正，指教，那是布衣不知何时修来地福份。</FONT></P> <P><FONT size=4>布衣要拜师，有礼了！</FONT></P> <P><FONT size=2></FONT> </P><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: SimSun; COLOR: green; FONT-SIZE: 14pt; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'" lang=ZH-CN><FONT size=4><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: SimSun; COLOR: lime; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'" lang=ZH-CN><FONT color=#339966 size=3> <P style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: SimSun; COLOR: green; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'" lang=ZH-CN><FONT size=4>暮色易醉，行笔走墨点松翠，</FONT></SPAN><SPAN style="COLOR: green"><BR></SPAN><FONT size=4><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: SimSun; COLOR: green; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'" lang=ZH-CN>石桥流水，鸟语清波，</SPAN><SPAN style="COLOR: green" lang=ZH-CN><FONT face="Times New Roman"> </FONT></SPAN></FONT><SPAN style="COLOR: green"><BR></SPAN><FONT size=4><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: SimSun; COLOR: green; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'" lang=ZH-CN>江南丝竹新调。</SPAN><FONT face="Times New Roman"><SPAN style="COLOR: green" lang=ZH-CN> </SPAN><SPAN style="COLOR: green"><?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p></SPAN></FONT></FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=4><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: SimSun; COLOR: green; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'" lang=ZH-CN>朦朦烟雾绕，幽幽</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: SimSun; COLOR: black; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'" lang=ZH-CN>斜月落</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: SimSun; COLOR: green; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'" lang=ZH-CN>，</SPAN><SPAN style="COLOR: green"><o:p></o:p></SPAN></FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=4><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: SimSun; COLOR: green; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'" lang=ZH-CN>冉冉晨曦升，</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: SimSun; COLOR: black; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'" lang=ZH-CN>朝</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: SimSun; LETTER-SPACING: 0.4pt; COLOR: black; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial" lang=ZH-CN>旭</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: SimSun; COLOR: black; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold" lang=ZH-CN>染画诗未尽。（思）</SPAN></FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: SimSun; COLOR: black; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold" lang=ZH-CN></SPAN> </P> <P style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal></FONT></SPAN></P> <P style="LINE-HEIGHT: 15pt; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal></FONT></SPAN></P> <P style="LINE-HEIGHT: 15pt; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><B><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: SimSun; COLOR: black; FONT-SIZE: 14pt" lang=ZH-CN></SPAN></B> </P> <P style="LINE-HEIGHT: 15pt; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><SPAN><FONT size=4>请才女老师再次指正，指教！！！</FONT></SPAN></P> <P> </P> <P><FONT size=4>敬上</FONT></P> <P><FONT size=4>-- 布衣</FONT></P> <P> </P>

林间青竹发布于 2009-06-13 04:47 1 楼^#

<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><SPAN lang=ZH-CN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: SimSun; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt"><FONT color=#008000 size=2>商榷：原文中波，语，没有押韵，换韵后用徽，但是绕，沉，尽字都不在韵上。青竹斗胆在没有征得布衣君的同意前改了几个字，希望您不要介意。如不妥，请网管但删无妨。</FONT></SPAN></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><SPAN lang=ZH-CN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: SimSun; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt"><FONT color=#008000 size=2></FONT></SPAN> </P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><SPAN><FONT color=#008000 size=2>暮色易醉，行笔走墨点松翠，<BR>石桥流水，鸟语清波， </FONT></SPAN><SPAN><BR><FONT color=#008000><FONT size=2><SPAN lang=ZH-CN>江南丝竹新调</SPAN>。 <?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p></FONT></FONT></SPAN></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><SPAN><FONT color=#008000 size=2>朦朦烟雾绕，幽幽明月照，</FONT></SPAN></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><SPAN><FONT color=#008000 size=2>冉冉晨曦升，夕阳暮鼓画意真</FONT></SPAN></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><SPAN lang=ZH-CN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: SimSun; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt"><FONT color=#008000 size=2>最后一句还值得推敲，因为上句是写的明月，而转句写了晨曦，继而又是夕阳，跳跃太强，有断的感觉。</FONT></SPAN></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><SPAN lang=ZH-CN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: SimSun; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt"><FONT color=#008000 size=2>与布衣君商榷</FONT></SPAN></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><SPAN lang=ZH-CN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: SimSun; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt"><FONT color=#008000 size=2>--青竹敬上</FONT></SPAN></P>